Today I found myself sitting across from a beautiful young lady. She was helping me get set up with something through the customer service line of her company. She’s not who you would expect to be in this position.
I could tell that she had built up armor around her heart. A leader recently told me that victims can either become marshmallows or porcupines after trauma. I’m definitely a marshmallow, and she was definitely a porcupine.
She was getting the run around that I had been getting at home trying to get the mess sorted out. She had to talk to three or four different representatives on my behalf. I wanted things to be easy, but today was proving to be messy.
A week ago, I would have been afraid and defensive of her. I had my own fears and own wounds that I was blinded by.
Recently my spiritual father warned that we should we should fight to know people by the spirit and not the flesh.
So, from now on, we refuse to evaluate people merely by their outward appearances. For that’s how we once viewed the Anointed One, but no longer do we see him with limited human insight.
2 Corinthians 5:16 TPT
As I sat at the counter, looking out the window not knowing what to do with my hands, I began to pray in the spirit for her. I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say, so praying helped me to feel more secure in the situation.
I had been frustrated with how difficult the whole process had been. I asked God what he was trying to do in the situation. For one, I think he was teaching me how to stay at peace while people-ing. I’d rather be hiding out in my cave with my dog.
I was worried that she would poke me with one of her quills. Not out of malice, but out of self-preservation to keep from getting hurt.
But then God began to reveal who she was to Him. She was beautiful and smart and funny and full of love and joy. But you wouldn’t be able to tell by her tough exterior.
Then Holy Spirit whispered an idea into my ear of a way He wanted me to be a blessing to her. I always keep copies of my book in the car in the off chance He wants me to give them away. As she fought her way through the irritation of customer service, He gave me a scripture to write in it.
I found myself giggling. The moment I stopped knowing her by outward appearance, and saw her how God saw her, I was so overwhelmed with His love for her.
When we got the problem solved, I shouted in victory and celebrated her overcoming! I must have looked like a lunatic, but that’s okay. It shifted the atmosphere. Something that had been a drain on her suddenly seemed not as bad.
I walked out to the car and wrote the scripture in the book and told her thank you for the help and that she was a beautiful blessing.
I walked back in to give it to her, and I watched as the porcupine transformed into a little girl squealing for joy. She was instantly changed before my eyes.
“I love books!” she said. She showed the book off to the others in the store. She was overjoyed that she received a gift.
The people who poke us with their quills are the people that need the most love. Their armor is built up to keep them from getting hurt again. I was so used to being hurt I didn’t give people the chance to get close. I lived in fear and paranoia.
It’s easy to avoid the difficult people. They can be harder to love. But it’s God’s love that they need to be transformed and restored to who He created them to be. My love is limited, but God’s love is infinite. I prayed to get in the Spirit, and He gave me the grace to be able to love with His heart.
“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
I struggle with human interaction, but God created a moment where He could bless her and transform both of us. He gave me grace to be bold when I would choose to be timid, and gave her a gift when she expected to be hurt.
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I drove home. I serve such a good, good God.
Truly it is more blessed to give than receive.